As I wrote before, I've had better days...

It's been lately a difficult time, but it's also been a time where I can say I feel kind of renewed. Strange things are happening, things I thought were taking more time happened all of a sudden. Call it destiny or not, but they appeared at the same time in the moment I needed them the most to do.

What about love? How do you stop feeling it from one day to another? Well, this is what happened to me; well not really to me, but to my significant other. We were almost getting to the two years of relationship and all of a sudden he told me he didn't feel the same. I came into a kind of crisis because I wasn't expecting something like that, I thought we were cool and everyday we were growing stronger, sadly it wasn't that way.

It was difficult to find a solution, since I asked him what was going wrong, but he didn't even know. He said he adored me, he said he cared, but he didn't felt the same as before when he said "i love you", that it was like a thing of everyday, it was like talking non sense.

The first thing that came to my mind was "he needs time" and I proposed him not to see us nor talk to each other in one week, but the next day he told me had had already made up his mind.

Next day we were at a coffee talking all this things out; he said he thought breaking for a while was the solution, he didn't want to lose me, but he didn't want to continue with this, he needed more time to face things, including his mind on his own. The plan was we were going to date as if we were at the very beginning of everything. Still not a couple officialy but dating.

Sounds weird right? Well, but I thought this was the best to choose in the inmensity of possibilities that scared me so damn much. This was the only chance to get his love back, if it's possible somewhere in time.

It was hard, but I had to put up some "standards" in order for this to work; in first place I told him I wasn't wearing the ring he gave me (as a symbol of a promise of forever), next he wouldn't be able to hug me, nor take my hand or either kissing my lips and the most important, we had to stablish a limited time to take a decision, which is in two months from now.

He accepted all of the above though he admitted this was going to be very very tough. It was for me too, the hardest part was when we finally said goodbye, it was a weird feeling of wanting to leave but yet stay there forever, a feeling of missing something somehow not gone at all, also a feeling of being capable of doing nothing about it, not being capable to return time or to forget everything and continue as if nothing happened ever.

I cried, a lot, and I think this was very sane; it helped me clear my mind and figure out many things such as the feeling that I had been a pretty good girlfriend, I think I never failed in a drastic way or anything like that. With this, I also thought there's nothing left for me to do, because in first palce, I'm not pleading, because I've never been that way and I'll never be, and in second one, it's going to be his decision because he's the one who's doubting, not me, I have everything clear; I love him, and I'm sure that I could live the rest of my life with him by my side, but if he isn't, if his heart's not in it for real, I can do nothing about it.

And finally I'm nobody to ask for things that aren't in my hands, Allmighty is the only one who can tell what's going to be the best for me, for him, and for us.

So, I can tell right now I'm "ok" after all, sad but yet not fallen to pieces; and I'll leave this hard decision in His hands, it'll be His decision and...

COME WHAT MAY